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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Satan Zombies!

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I came across this movie the other day. Very interesting, if nothing else then because of the oddity of it. This little gem is called Satan's Baby Doll, Orgasmo Di Satana, or, more charmingly in this German DVD release, which is the only full length uncut version, Dr. Porno and his Satan Zombie!

I love old horror movies and the 70's sleaze (though this is from 1980 or 1982 depending where you look) and exploitation movies. This has to be the perfect mix.

Sadly, it doesn't have either Danish or English subtitles and the DVD is in German and Italian. Oh well. it's still worth watching...

I foung this describtion of the movie on IMDB:

"A wealthy dirtbag with a taste for smack throttles his philandering wife in a fit of rage after discovering her illicit lesbian affair with the sexy, shapely nun employed to care for the man's invalid brother. During her funeral she possesses the body of her sexy teenage daughter and over the course of the film compels the girl to bring about the deaths of everyone in the household that the woman had slept with.
Which was all of them, at one point or another, including a sinister looking butler who was apparently dabbling in the black arts down in his private little satanic shrine in the catacombs near the family crypt and somehow enabled the woman's allegiance to Lucifer.
Or, something like that. Legends abound that this was originally a full-blown hardcore sex film though the only surviving prints amount to a roughly 72 minute (PAL 25fps: all known versions are PAL transfers) celebration of moods and deviancy that is deceptively tame looking. Lesbianism, necrophilia, voyeurism, incest, drug abuse, and cold-blooded murder from beyond the grave prevail as director Bianchi sets a deliberate, meditative pace that wallows in the film's ornate, Gothic trappings, all of it set to a decidedly melancholy and evocative keyboard/vocal musical score by Nico Catanese that gives it all an air of sadness that is distinctively at odds with the rather high sleaze quotient."

Fortunately, the version that I got hold of is the UNCUT 85 minute version, so all the nasty parts are there in their full glory. I love the way the movie looks all scratched up whenever the sex bits are playing. I suppose there was some kind of "fast forwarding" going on in those grindhouse theaters way back.

I just hope that one day I will find a version with a set of subtitles that I will actually understand (either that or take my Italian to a higher level).

There is an american release on DVD of this, but it is cut down from 85 to 73 minutes.

I did some screen captures so you can enjoy this too. It's slow paced but lots of fun in it's sheer tackyness.

 

I love the grain of those old movies. The color and the tone just sets the mood from the beginning. It makes me want to turn off all the lights, get a nice glass of red wine or a beer, some chips and sit back and enjoy yet another great movie from the 70's.

Why don't they make movies like this any more? Sure, they are junk. Sure, they probably didn't make too much money. But they are a hell of a lot more entertaining than most of the junk produced today.

How I hope to find an uncut US release of this some day.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Star Wars Sex Quotes

I came across this dialog over at www.qdb.us - check out their quotes... they are hilarious!

Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"

QDB: Quote #83178

Monday, February 18, 2008

God DOES listen! Hell yeah!

No matter how many times I come across this photo on the Internet, it still makes me laugh. Yup, now its on my site too....

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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Goth Harry Potter, Hermione and Ron

Gotta love Photoshop! This is one cool picture though. I would love to see an even darker, goth Harry Potter movie.

Funny pictures

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Image Stabilizer for less than ONE DOLLAR!

I found this little video while surfing online. This seems like a truly brilliant idea. I will definitely try it out.

While I get my act together and actually try it out, why don't you check out the video too...


$1 Image Stabilizer For Any Camera - Lose The Tripod - video powered by Metacafe

Woman loses Jesus to Weiner Poopies

This poor woman has truly lost Jesus, and wants to find Jesus so bad...

Friday, February 01, 2008

Cool little car


01-02-2008
Originally uploaded by keld.petersen
I came across this cool little "car" on my way to pick up Dee today. Actually, this qualifies as a moped, you don't even need a driver's license for it!

You get to sit indoors driving, you got room to transport stuff. If I can fit my big butt in it, I might just look into getting one some day!

Cool little car


01-02-2008
Originally uploaded by keld.petersen
I came across this cool little "car" on my way to pick up Dee today. Actually, this qualifies as a moped, you don't even need a driver's license for it!

You get to sit indoors driving, you got room to transport stuff. If I can fit my big butt in it, I might just look into getting one some day!

Morgenthaler rocks!

Strip

Wulffmorgenthaler.com